Loss, Grief, and Reflection
Last week my Grandmother passed away. She was 91 years old, lived a full life, enjoyed a lot of it, and in the end was just as suborn as I remember her growing up. I was always close to Grandma, most of my cousins were grown by the time I came around, so I usually didn’t have share my time with her. I have a lot of fond memories, of the time we spent together, and I will never forget being able to say goodbye to her, knowing that I would probably never see her again.
Loss is a hard thing. It’s been difficult for me to really care about much. I’ve spent a few days off, just wondering around the house thinking. My mind has been wondering all over, from work to life, to what I find my purpose is. See, I am a Christian. I believe in Jesus, who can down from Heaven to save His creation, because He loved them. For years I’ve been worried about sharing my beliefs with people, I didn’t want to offend them. I’m not the kind of guy you are going to see on a street corner with a sign yelling at people.
I’m here to serve. To help people. To encourage. To share life with. Why? Because I choose to believe that there is a God who created me. Because I choose to believe that He loves me and wants me to share that love. That being human is being able to laugh, to cry, to comfort, and to share life with.
Grief, is a bitch. I’ve found myself this last week just randomly crying. Some memory hits me and BAM, I’m done. It’s a process to work through. It’s good, it hurts, but ultimately it’s good to go through, to heal. I can now say that, as I’ve moved through a few more of the stages. But, if you’re grieving the loss of someone, I feel for you. Don’t worry, it will get better.
Now, reflection is interesting. I found myself looking back a lot this last week. Things I’ve done, passions I’ve had, ideas I’ve given up on. Don’t get me wrong, I am amazingly happy with where life is at. The opportunities I have at Glean are amazing, wonderful, and life changing. But it also has reminded me of what I am doing. There is a lot of need in our world. Regardless of your religion or your politics, poverty is something that affects most people in the world. We have only one life to live, we only get to do this once.
What are you going to do before you go? Me? I’m going to work my ass off to help those in need.